A mentor mom gave me these words of wisdom typed out on a thin strip of paper decades ago. They have remained on my refrigerator even as we moved from house to house; a stanza from a hymn that satiated something deep within. I had the urge to memorize it like a school girl, to master it. At first I just liked the sound of the words, like something sweet dripping from my lips:
Drop Thy still dew of quietness
Till all my strivings cease
Take from my soul the strain and stress
And let my ordered life confess
The beauty of Thy peace.
Break it Down
There’s something about DEW that reminds me of the Eucharist. It’s an “amen” kind of knowing that I don’t fully understand yet believe to be True.
And the word STRIVING, how it perfectly captures all of the endless effort, the never arriving… Paired with the word CEASE it commands my soul: Stop. Striving.
STRAIN AND STRESS…. Yes, Lord, take it! Please.
The next line names the elusive thing I have been chasing: the ORDERED LIFE. That’s it— that’s the goal!!! Especially during the chaotic days of young motherhood. That’s what I’ve been looking for, trying to accomplish. That’s the sweet satisfaction I have been denied despite my considerable efforts. Order.
I know that peace comes after that…
But first. The groceries that need to be put away, the meal that needs to be made, the dishes that need to be done, the floors that need to be cleaned and ugh, the never ending laundry! … The tyrant to-do list. You know where I’m going. Nowhere. Certainly nowhere that brings peace.
When I….
Then I…
The somedays that never come…
For years I tried to put all the little things in first. To muscle my world into a neat diorama of domestic life. To clean up the mess of reality.
Science proves what we know in faith.
Do you know how to fit the most into a mason jar? You put the big things in first. “Can we do a demonstration, Mrs Welch?!,” a particularly sweet student in the front row begged, “I’ll bring in the jar, the rocks, the pebbles and the sand!”
It wasn’t in my lesson plan.
I don’t understand people who say they don’t have regrets.
The Big Things
At this point I’m reminded of a Monty Python movie I have never even seen, just heard my husband quote a thousand times: “God you’re just so… BIG… You’re so darn… BIG!”
GOD. First.
Why am I trying to do the impossible? To get to the bottom of a bottomless list before giving time to God…
Even after I know the scientifically proven successful order of things, I still try to do it backwards and then wonder why I’m so tired. And cranky. Always ready to give a defense to anyone who asks the reason for my weariness…I’m busy, very, very busy. (apologies to 1 Peter 3:15)
I confess, Lord, the beauty of Thy peace.
Found in stillness, quiet, prayer, Your Word. First.
Repeat after me until we find the White Space together:
Drop Thy still dew of quietness
Till all my strivings cease
Take from my soul the strain and stress
And let my ordered life confess
The beauty of Thy peace
Ahhhhhmen
What a fantastic hymn verse to reflect on daily! Putting the items in that jar in the right ORDER for a life of peace…